Is it Love, Lust or obsession?
How do you know when you are in love? What are the signs?
Love is a very beautiful feeling and being in love is the most amazing feeling ever.
Suddenly, you're seeing someone new and you connected and talk almost every day, how do you know it's love?
Here is what you should be looking for;
You look forward to hearing from them every time, they become your happy place. You spend most of your time with them.
You are willing to compromise to accommodate them.
You think of them always.
When you see someone coming too close you feel jealous.
You share your moments with them,(how your day went, your wins and challenges).
You feel protective of them and you feel like taking away their pain.
You know you're in love when you can't imagine your life moving forward without that person in it.
Being in love is a state of bliss, joy, and comfort.
It is beyond buying or sharing the gift, sharing chats and emojis, it is deep intimacy.
Love is feeling what the other person is feeling, and looking for ways to make them happy.
~ 𝐀𝐍𝐃 / 𝐎𝐑 ~2️⃣ Does love come on suddenly or grow over time? What are your keys
to ensure your relationship remains strong and healthy?
Love and lust are two different things, and sometimes many mistake lust for love, because lust too is powerful.
I want you to know that attraction and love are two different things too.
The first thing that makes you want to say "hi" in the first place is attraction.
You find the person attractive and you've fantasized about how things will turn out with them.
Well, as time passes by, you begin to learn about them, their likes and dislikes, and their values and ideals.
Love is deep, love is commitment, and it is choosing to stay by the person through the ups and downs. No wonder they say "For better, for worse."
Lust is what comes to you suddenly about a person and is often obsessive while love appreciates your individuality and uniqueness.
Personally, I think before whatever feelings should be called Love it should grow over time and be tested.
Love is what stays when the attraction fades, love is what stays when you find someone else prettier, love is what stays through the good and the bad times, and love doesn't come suddenly. It needs to be nurtured for it to grow.
Know these;
Attraction is based on what you see (their physique, smiles, charming eyes, hair, etc)
Lust is based on what you feel (you mostly fantasize about going to bed with them, kissing, and cuddling and your thoughts towards them are always erotica, it's just all about the sexual intimacy and nothing else.) once you've got what you want, you leave.
Obsession is an unhealthy emotion where the partner doesn't give the other one space to breathe and interact with others. The obsessive partner is all over the place hindering them from growth to an unhealthy fear of losing them.
But Love is based on what you know about them. (Their background, flaws, strength, weakness, uniqueness, likes, and dislikes.) and still choosing to stay and help them grow and win! Love helps you grow into a better person.
So what are the keys to ensuring a relationship remains strong and healthy?
Communication
It is the bridge to any relationship. How can you tell what you feel if you don't communicate? Communication involves talking and listening.
So listening to the other person's thoughts, opinions, and feelings and acting accordingly is communication.
Commitment Be willing to make things work out, look beyond the surface and choose to stay true to yourselves.
Trust and accountability What is love without trust? Be accountable too for your actions, and avoid justifying your actions.
Sincerity Be sincere about your feelings for the person.
Transparency and honesty
About your actions and motives. Be clear, plain, be simple.
Not self-seeking: you seek the betterment of your partner and you learn to sacrifice your time, resources, and energy to make them happy.
Compromise is also an important key, there is no winner in a team, so it should always be a win! win! and lose! Lose! the situation, if we win, we win together, and if we lose we lose together!
It's funny how people compete with the ones they love, some are even envious of their partner, this reminds me of a movie (Knocking on heaven's door) I saw some years back, where the man was so envious of his wife's progress, that he went as far as hindering her progress, he was so jealous of her because they were both musicians but his wife was more recognized than him, that led to strong competition on his part until she left him.
Be ready to forgive and build
If we keep holding unto little mistakes, such relationships will never grow. No one is perfect, you don't need to make a fuss out of every misunderstanding.
Understanding each other's weaknesses and strengths.
Patience and tolerance as you grow old together.
No comparison! Never compare your partner to your ex and your friend's partner, you never know what happens behind closed doors. I want you to know that there is nothing like mate in a relationship. We are one. However, this shouldn't give you the yardstick to be disrespectful so learn to respect your partner and avoid stepping on their toes intentionally.
Respect their boundaries too!
In conclusion.
Love is a powerful force but isn't enough to sustain a relationship, this is because we all have our differences in relationships.
These are some of the recipes you need to sustain a relationship,
Love is just a component of a healthy relationship but if all other recipes for sustaining the relationship are missing then love can't and will never sustain a relationship. It will wither with time.
Thank you for stopping by, till we meet again, this is Amie Geoffrey.
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